I decided to start this blog with a thankless task: gather
the funniest quotes I could find on Twitter.
I know I won’t be saving life with any of my discovery but I
hope it will help to shape your image of the brain behind this blog.
Frank.
Sharp. Straight. With a good sense of humour.
So, here are the funniest quotes about sex that I uncovered
on Twitter.
Hint: they are not just funny, they are packed with
home-grown truths too.
"I remember the first time I had sex — I kept the receipt." - Groucho Marx
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. ~Les Dawson
If she don’t gasp when you put it in. Nigga, just pull out and go home.
Life is like sex. You can with lie back and let it screw you, or you can get on top and ride the hell out of it.
Love is a matter of chemistry sex is a matter of physics!
"A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are." -Victor Lownes
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it’s pretty damn good." -Woody Allen
Sex should be friendly. Otherwise, stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary.
“Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.” ― Jimmy Dean
“the only thing men are fast at is sex.” ~Cherise Sinclair
Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.
"You know 'that look' women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” ― Billy Crystal
“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” - Lily Tomlin
“Sex is the driving force on the planet. We should embrace it, not see it as the enemy.” ― Hugh Hefner
“sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love” ― Gabriel García Márquez
The secrets to a happy partnership? Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty. – Kevin Bacon
"Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last."- unknown
There may be some things better than sex, and there may be some things worse. But there's nothing quite like it.- W.C Fields
